People simply don’t understand how difficult life can be without a Cabana Boy. Towels don’t just magically bring themselves, you know. Same goes for tropical refreshments. When you raise your hand to your mouth, you’ll look far more sophisticated if it’s holding a drink, not a fistful of air. And is it unreasonable that you prefer to have lotion slathered on you by a handsome stranger whose name you’ll never pronounce correctly?
“Where’s my Cabana Boy?” isn’t just an innocuous question. It’s your birthright, dammit!
- 100% Preshrunk Ringspun Cotton T-Shirt. These words might mean nothing to you, but to certified experts in t-shirtology, they ensure the highest quality.
- Super soft. Attractive people will want to put their hands all over you just to touch it. You’ll pretend this is a huge imposition.
- Double-needle stitching throughout. Yeah, you read that correctly. Double!
- In other words, it's a damn good quality t-shirt. This is not some cheap, thin shirt that you buy at a big box store next to the motor oil and an 8 gallon drum of artificial coffee creamer.
Congratulations on making the smartest purchase of your lifetime.
If anyone asks what you did today, just show them the Island Jay item you purchased and enjoy a well earned round of applause.
Your purchase grants you complete and unfettered access to Island Jay, a magical land of recreation and relaxation. It’s a place that you should strive to visit every day of your life, and it’s my job to help get you there. Don’t just dream the beach life, live it.
Chief Relaxation Officer
Trademark & Copyright Note: It has come to our attention that other websites, including sellers on eBay & Amazon, have been counterfeiting our designs. Pretenders, thieves, and unoriginal losers each and every one of them.
Not only are these criminals in violation of our legally protected trademarks and copyrights, they’re selling grossly inferior knock-offs at discount prices and hurting our good name in the process.
Please protect yourself and the good people who have built our brand by purchasing only from our website.